The Missouri Valley College Vikings volleyball team had their ups and downs this year, but four of the ladies made the All-Conference Team because of their on-court achievements. Ali Schrader made the first team in the Heart of America Athletic Conference honors and Miranda Groth made the second team while Paula Tieman and Dustina Bitten got All-Conference Honorable Mention. The time seemed right to get to know these ladies a little better and find out their opinion of the Roger Corman B-movie called Viking Women vs The Sea Serpent. (I’m kidding!)

 Ali Schrader

Major: Criminal Justice

Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: The Schrade

What should opponents fear the most from you?  “My intensity. I love playing the game of volleyball and with every set that I get I try and make the most out of it. After every block that I get I jump in the air as high as I can out of excitement, sometimes higher than my regular jump. After every ace I get I jump in the middle. My emotions get the best of me in every game but my intensity and excitement are the best emotions that I let out.”

Why would you say you had the kind of season you had?   “We had a rollercoaster volleyball season. We had great moments along with our rough patches that we had to get through as a team. We were such a good team, but sometimes the team as a whole got down on ourselves and we weren’t able to pick ourselves back up until the last few points. However we had a great end by making it to the post-season HAAC tournament. We played our very best against Evangel and gave them all we could.”

What individual accomplishment are you proudest of from your MVC career?   “Making it on the First Team All-Conference. It is the first huge accomplishment of my college volleyball career.”

What is the most laughably bad movie you’ve ever seen?   “I love funny movies but the worst funny movie I have ever seen is Anchorman with Will Ferrell.”

Miranda Groth 

Major: Middle School Education Science

Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: The Mighty Mig

What should opponents fear the most from you?   “The look in my eye and the way I can direct the ball.”

Why would you say you had the kind of season you had?   “We got out what we put in.”

What individual accomplishment are you proudest of from your MVC career?   “Best work study ever. 2nd Team All-Conference.”

What is the most laughably bad movie you’ve ever seen?  “Not sure. I don’t watch a lot of movies or television.” 

 Paula Tieman

Major: Elementary Education

Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: Doctor T

What should opponents fear the most from you?  “The passion that I have for volleyball. I love the game and always try to play to the best of my ability to help our team succeed.”

Why would you say you had the kind of season you had?  “Our team had a successful season because of our chemistry. Everyone supported each other and by doing that each individual shined in their area of experience.”

What individual accomplishment are you proudest of from your MVC career?  “I am most proud of the two honorable mentions I received. I came to MoVal knowing this program was down and I wanted to make it better. With the help of my recruitment class we made it possible for MoVal to be respected and compete in our conference. By receiving those conference honors I feel like my hard work has been recognized.”

What is the most laughably bad movie you’ve ever seen?  “Napoleon Dynamite.”

Dustina Bitten 

Major: Nursing

Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: Dangerous D.B.

What should opponents fear the most from you?  “I’m not sure. I would assume it to be my kills or maybe even my jump serve.”

Why would you say you had the kind of season you had?  “I just think we got too comfortable with ourselves after winning one set and then couldn’t bring ourselves out of the hole to finish. We had a great team. We just had a few flaws that we couldn’t get past until the playoffs. We proved ourselves in the playoffs but still came up short, but at least now we know what it is we needed.”

What individual accomplishment are you proudest of from your MVC career?   “I feel that being recognized for honorable mention my first year at MoVal is something to be pretty proud of. I still have one more year to hopefully achieve more. I will apply for the nursing program now and start in the fall. I am pretty excited about it. It is what I have always wanted to do.”

What is the most laughably bad movie you’ve ever seen?  “I’d have to say Napoleon Dynamite.”

Well that wraps it up! Thank you to Ali, Miranda, Paula and Dustina as well as to all the wonderful people at Missouri Valley College.

Things I learned from this interview:  Call Missouri Valley College MoVal instead of MVC and the film Napoleon Dynamite could be used as punishment following a bad practice for the MoVal volleyball team.

To follow all MoVal sporting events (AKA “SpoEve”) click here: http://www.moval.edu/athletics/index.php

The Lincoln Memorial Lady Railsplitters volleyball team had a stellar season and Lauren Kiwacka is one of the reasons why. The senior rightside  hitter/ setter was named to the American Volleyball Coaches Association Southeast All- Region Team. This following a season in which she and her teammates tied a school record by going 23-8, recorded an all-time high in conference victories at 12 and helped Coach Mike Smith (If that IS his real name. I’m kidding!) pick up his 350th career victory. Kiwacka ends her LMU career with 58 double-doubles, 12 triple-doubles, 660 kills, 3,159 assists, 140 service aces, 1,164 digs and 250 blocks. It was great to talk to an athlete who wears the number 4 but is all about the team and not themselves.

 Lauren Kiwacka

Position: RS/S

Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: Lethal Lauren

What should opponents fear the most from you?  “The chemistry I have with my team. When we are all together and work as a team there is no stopping us. I expect a lot out of my team and they expect just as much if not more out of me.”

Why would you say you had the kind of successful season you had?   “As an athlete and competitor I am never satisfied because there is always room for improvement in a true athlete. I am proud of my team and the accomplishments we have had in my four years. We beat many school records all across the board. These girls gave me a great last season.”

What individual accomplishment are you proudest of from your time at LMU?   “I am most proud of my team accomplishing the first NCAA tournament appearance my sophomore year! This was a great accomplishment for the program as a whole! But personally I would say 1,000 digs or my number of triple-doubles. 1,000 digs is a big accomplishment for me for 2 reasons. First is that I am a sitter and typically setters do not accomplish this goal. Also, I was a middle blocker before I became setter the second week of my college career. For people who may not know volleyball a middle blocker plays front row only and rarely if ever gets a chance to play in the back row. I’m proud to say I have improved my defensive skills enough to accomplish the rare 1,000 digs. I am also proud of the number of triple-doubles in my career. My goal every game was to win and have a good team showing. Stats were not a big deal to me but these 2 areas I am most proud of.”

What was your least favorite part of practice?   “Most people respond to this question with answers like running, conditioning or monotonous ball control drills. However, I would have to disagree. My least favorite part of practice is the end. When the team is having a good day and are accomplishing a lot I hate to see practice come to an end. The same goes for a terrible practice. I want to fix whatever may not be working for the day before we quit!”

If a movie was made about this season of Lady Railsplitters volleyball what should the title be?   “Continuing the Legacy. Last year we were living the legacy, this year we were trying to continue it.”

What is the most laughably bad movie you’ve ever seen?  “Goodness! I love/hate Napoleon Dynamite but Year One was a pretty laughably terrible movie!”

Well, that wraps it up! Lauren expresses herself very well and seems like a natural leader who would make a good coach if she wanted. Thank you to Lauren and to all the great people at Lincoln Memorial University for making this possible.

For streaming video of Lethal Lauren and I actually splitting rails while conducting this Q&A click here: http://www.lmurailsplitters.com/ 

Bret Favre crying while failing to comprehend why he's become such an object of contempt

 Well, “The Ollllllll’ Interception Machine” Brett Favre’s lack of cooperation with the NFL’s investigation of the Jenn Sterger matter has resulted in a whopping $50,000 fine for the increasingly repulsive- and increasingly infirm-looking –   quarterback. You just know somewhere Ben Roethlisberger must be kicking himself for not thinking of just stonewalling the investigation into the accusations against himself from a while back. He could have saved a lot of money. Well, I’m sure going forward other NFL players will realize “The Favre Approach” when being investigated is your best bet to avoid suspension and to avoid a large fine. We all know $50 grand to an NFL quarterback is like five dollars to people in the real world, so with this one move Roger Goodell has destroyed the credibility he was building up with his previous firm stances. Goodell is also inviting accusations of racism (considering his harsher treatment of many African- American players) and preferential treatment for the self-obsessed Favre. The time seemed right to do another of my fake interviews. None of the following happened and at no time did I really speak with Brett Favre … Speaking bluntly I wouldn’t be caught dead talking to this guy.

Brett, don’t you think your sickening “Aw, shucks, I’m just a regular guy” act has gotten as tiresome as it is transparent?    “Not to the ass- kissers in sports broadcasting! They still fall for it hook line and sinker! Heck and Aunt Marie, that there Trent Dilfer fella practically drops to his knees and puckers up if someone just says my name.  And y’know that Ryen Russillo guy who always tries to hold his head so you can’t see the ever-widening bald spot in the back? On that afternoon show today where he’s fillin’ in fer that Scott fella he was already serving as my apologist by dumping on Tiger Woods to distract from me and he went all the way by snidely pointin’ out that Jenn Sterger waited a couple years before filing this complaint. Garsh! He did it so well you could just hear his contempt for her and if he could’ve gotten away with it I think he would have muttered ‘Tramp’  under his breath!”

Why do you think so many men in sports broadcasting act so lovesick over you? I could swear if you sold your used sweat socks on E-Bay Colin Cowherd, Trent Dilfer and Mike Greenberg would launch a bidding war immediately!     “Garsh you talk so purrrty! What ya need to remember is that many of the fellas in sports broadcasting are either frustrated jocks or former players who washed up before they could really accomplish what they wanted. To insecure men like that, they get to live uh, what’s that ten- dollar word I hurd someone use t’other day … VICARIOUSLY! Yeah, that’s it! They get to live vicariously through me and my accomplishments and they can forget about their own failed dreams.”

Fascinating! But there are plenty of quarterbacks who have won more Superbowls than your measley one. Since the jock-sniffers in sports broadcasting generally claim winning is all that matters why do they overlook the fact that you aren’t exactly Terry Bradshaw or Joe Montana, or Tom Brady?    “That there puzzles my head, too. It surely does.”  

So you’ve gotten two coaches fired at your last two stops and those teams have gone on to do just fine without you, so do you ever think those teams should have gotten rid of you instead of their coaches?     ” Har har! It shore ’nuff looks that way now! Whatcha gonna do, though? My personal P.R. representatives at ESPN always have my back so I come out smellin’ like a rose no matter what I do! ”

How does your wife feel about this whole Jenn Sterger situation? And are there other women at other organizations that you’ve treated the same way?    “Aww, gee … muh shoulder, or elbow or sumthin’ hurts. I’d love to stay an’ answer more of your questions, but I gotta go.”

Hey, c’mon. it won’t be a Brett Favre interview if you don’t conjure up some of those phony crocodile tears you’re so fond of shedding. How about some, just to remind us you’re as oily and insincere as Eddie Haskell on Leave It To Beaver?    “Naw, I don’t think I’m goin’ to, consarn it! You’ve been askin’ much tougher questions than that Goodell fella or any of them there sports news types ever do! I guess it’s because they’re just in the entertainment business, no matter how much they try to act like they’re journalists. Now I’m gonna go sell the pants I was wearin’ while doin’ this Q and A with you.”

Geez, why not auction off the underpants, too?   “Cuz Ryen Russillo called dibs on those and he’d be mighty powerful mad at me if I disappointed him.” 

If you follow basketball at the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma the names Aita Gueye and Sahlih Butts are as familiar to you as  the names Kobe Bryant and Lisa Leslie are in pro basketball.  Gueye is from Dakar, Senegal and Butts is from Broken Arrow, Oklahoma so they played against each other a lot when they played their high school ball. I’m kidding, of course. The Broken Arrow men haven’t played the Dakar women since 1982. These two student- athletes live up to the virtues you would expect from USAO and they do it both on and off the court. The time seemed right to get to know these two young people better. 

Aita Gueye

Position: Guard

Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: The Mogul (because she’s a business major) 

Major: Business, emphasis on management

Why would you say you’re having the kind of season you’re having so far?     ”So far we are having a decent beginning. We are getting better every day of the season. We are learning to function as a team since it’s the first time most of us are playing together. We are still learning to have better team chemistry and I believe that we are a strong team and the best is yet to come.”

What should opponents fear the most from you?      “I would say my speed. My first move with the ball is a killer. They should also fear my quick release on a jump shot and my capacity for getting to the basket.”

Which member of your coaching staff would you cast in the lead role of a television series called CSI: Chickasha?         “Coach Metcalf”       

What is your greatest non-sports passion?     “I love listening to music, singing and spending time with my loved ones.”

What is the most laughably bad movie you’ve ever seen?     “White Chicks.”   

 Sahlih Butts

Position: Guard/ Forward

Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: The Chickasha Warrior

Major: Physical Education 

Why would you say you’re having the kind of season you’re having so far?       “Individually I’m trying to stay focused and maintain my determination to do what I have to do to help my team succeed. As a team we realize that last year USAO did not have all that good of a season and since it’s basically a whole new team this year we want to change things around.”    

What should opponents fear the most from you?     “My evil piercing eyes. No but I guess just my will and determination for the game and to want to win.”   

Which member of your coaching staff would you cast in the lead role of a television series called CSI: Chickasha?       ”I’d have to go with Coach Metcalf. He seems like he’s always aware of things and nothing can slip past him.”  

What is your greatest non-sports passion?        “That’s kind of a hard one since I like sports period but I’m going to have to go with golf. I can’t play and I definitely can’t stand watching it.”

What is the most laughably bad movie you’ve ever seen?     “Definitely The Hangover.”

Well that wraps it up! Thank you to Aita and Sahlih and to all the terrific people at USAO, especially Jessica Jackson. Good luck to the men’s and women’s basketball teams at USAO and hopefully March finds them both in the NAIA National Tournament.

To help the Drovers by participating in January 15th’s nationwide Black Out The Stars Day click here: http://www.usao.edu/usao-sports/

Yes, in the spirit of Sister Wives and Mob Wives, it’s We Married A Madman, a Pakistani- produced reality tv show following life from the point of view of the late Osama Bin Laden’s wives. Early reports indicate this is why the Pakistanis were less than cooperative with U.S. military and intelligence personnel about Bin Laden’s whereabouts. A raid would have spoiled production of this guaranteed ratings blockbuster. A highly- placed Pakistani source confirmed this for me recently. 

“There we were, finally poised to get our piece of the reality tv pie”, he bemoaned, “when those damn Navy Seals come in and spoil everything! It’s just another example of American Imperialism and cowboy diplomacy!” 

Like all reality shows, the program was going to focus on uncomfortable, ugly confrontations and arguments (I’ve always felt the motto for all reality tv shows should be “As awkward and boring as real life”), the centerpiece of which was going to be a knock- down drag- out fight between two wives over whose turn it was to de-louse Osama’s beard.

Another of the program’s main selling points was going to be the wives’ insights to “the man behind the massacres” and his outdated, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic worldview. Some of the nuggets:

Osama’s biggest pet peeve: “Holocaust documentaries that come without a laugh track.”

Favorite snack: “Bacon wrapped around sausage, Homer Simpson style.”

On if there is even one Jewish person he would allow to live: “Adam Sandler. He loved him!”  (That figures)

On the sex-lives of woman- hating, mass- murdering Jihadists: “Osama hadn’t been able to get it up for anything except pictures of little boys from the JC Penney catalog in about 20 years.”

On his favorite recreational activity: “Dressing up like Dean Martin and swinging down a pole with all of us dressed up as The Golddiggers.”  (Wow, he WAS old!)

On their real feelings about him: “We always thought that demented fool was far- gone on drugs or something. He hated the Americans for having gay rights, reproductive freedom, equal rights for women and separation of church and state. He caused the entire Muslim world more heartache and sorrow than anyone else probably ever could. His entire life was a failure.”

On the 9-11 attacks: “He was always complaining about how he did all that planning and one of his stupid ideas finally worked, yet so many people in the world are such imbeciles they actually think the American government staged the attacks themselves!”

On kicking back after a hard day of advocating the death of every man, woman and child who didn’t want to live as if it was centuries ago: “Osama would slam down some booze, then set a Koran on fire so he could light up a stogie like George Burns, whom he babysat, by the way.”

On his hand-picked successor as Al Quaeda’s leader: “He always dreamed of having his propoganda minister Michael Moore succeed him. Michael was the only man who hated Americans more than he did.”

Despite the world-wide spoiler about how the final episode ends, this should be a riveting, entertaining program! Watch for it soon, on OWN!

 Balladeer’s Blog recently got to interview Philip Lee McCall II, best-selling author, reviewer, publisher and imaginist about his latest book, Ing The Viking. McCall’s previous works include The Imaginist and Poisonous Prose: A Limited Collection of Dark Rhymes (2  volumes). 

All of those books are available at Amazon.com, plus McCall has The Imaginist II coming out in just over two months. The time seemed right to try to ride Mr McCall’s coattails to some more blog hits for myself (I’m kidding!) so I sent my private jet to pick him up and fly him to my spacious villa overlooking Japan’s Inland Sea. 

We passed the time trying to spot one of the thousand dragons of the Shinto god Kotohira swimming in the waters below while “PLMII” as he’s called, graciously answered my interview questions. 

Balladeer’s Blog: For the uninitiated could you provide an overview of Ing the Viking’s setting and raison d’etre? 

PLMII: Ing the Viking is an anthology which collects the stories of a fabled Viking’s adventures. I worked with a group of fantasy artists to render art for each tale. I was honored to have the great Larry Elmore not only excited about the project but also provide two images for the book.  This book was definitely a labor of love and homage to both Norse mythology and the Pulp fiction era. There are no heroes that I am aware of like Conan, Beowulf or John Carter that you can pick up and read from new authors. So I saw a void and created Ing to fill that, and in the process sought to bring a new audience and life to Norse mythology. Most only know Norse myth through the Thor comic by Marvel which is great but pales in comparison to the mythos that was used to create it. 

BB: What has the initial response to Ing been like? 

PLMII: The response has been very positive and has allowed my work to crossover to many types of readers because most people have heard of the Vikings and Thor. The funny thing is most people who have read Ing are already wanting a movie and picking what actor should play (him). I think that is very cool. It means to me that Ing is a character that’s both believable and memorable. 

BB: Do you think the success of books like Ing the Viking will help revive interest in the pulp magazine stories of the past? 

PLMII: That was the overall intention of creating Ing and producing it in this format. Mythology itself is a series of stories told about the epic adventures of both gods and men. I would be lying if I did not point out that Ing is heavily influenced by Conan the Barbarian and Beowulf.  I think that most readers today are looking for something that can be both quick and fulfilling. That was the beauty of pulp fiction from days past. I would be thrilled if my writing on Ing sends readers back to rediscover the works of CL Moore, Robert E Howard and many of the other greats from the pulp fiction era. 

BB: Who is your favorite neglected Norse deity? 

CLMII: I would have to say Heimdall. He is often written off as just a lone watchmen at the Bifrost Bridge. He is much more than that. This god has gold teeth and was born of nine mothers. Talk about original! As a writer I think he is just a wellspring of stories. Who else would know all the comings and goings of Asgard? 

BB: What did you think of last year’s Thor movie?

PLMII: I loved it. I know it is Marvel’s rendition of Norse mythology so going in I took that stance toward the movie. It is not often Norse mythology is done with such flair and care. Most of the Norse myth movies are horrible and often fal lway short of the mythos itself. I think any movie that gets the public enthused about Norse mythology and is done well, is good by me. 

BB: Are you a fan of the New Zealand progam The Almighty Johnsons? ( This program deals with the Norse gods and goddesses incarnating as young people ) 

CLMII: I probably soon will be. Even though I am not familiar with this series the themes in it are nothing new. Neil Gaiman and many others have crossed the whole gods in human flesh bridge before. What should make this series good is the fact that Norse mythology more than any other was filled with the adventures of the gods in human form travelling among us. I am not surprised that a writer picked up on that and spun a show out of it. I think if any gods could pull off living among mortals it would be the Norse gods. 

BB: Aside from Norse what are your other favorite mythological pantheons? 

PLMII: Like many I also enjoy the Graeco Roman gods though I have recently started getting into Asian mythos which is really cool. 

BB: Do you think Norse myths will ever overtake Graeco Roman myths in pop culture? 

PLMII: To be quite honest … no. I think the reason for this is quite simple. The Graeco Roman period is often is often touted as the Golden Age of mythology and is often romanticized and taught to many around the world. Norse mythology is often touted as a pagan religion that was squashed out by the rise of Christianity. I think the Norse sagas have great romance, intrigue and tales of valor that are far superior to the self-indulging tales about the gods of the Graeco Roman myths. However, Norse sagas do not end well and often are filled with death and loss, things that most do not wish to hear about. If anything Norse myth beats closer to the mortal vein than Graeco Roman myths. 

BB: To end on a light note, if Ing and Conan fell for the same woman, who would win the romantic rivalry? 

PLMII: Even though I am the creator of Ing I would have to give it to Conan. Ing is a heroic figure consumed with protecting the Viking people. While he would not turn from the passions of a beautiful woman I do not think a mortal could ever win his heart fully. You will have to read Ing the Viking to understand that previous comment. Conan is a much more earthly being who is driven by his desires and could one day be consumed by a woman who proves to be his mortal match, though he may lust after many in the search for this woman. In closing I want to tell the fans of Balladeer’s Blog as well as Norse mythology and fantasy fans in general, that Ing the Viking is worth the read and will not disappoint. I have already begun working on Ing the Viking, Volume II, which includes the entire original artist team plus several new illustrators as well. So far the stories are looking great and should make Ing II double the size of its predecessor.

I want to thank Balladeer for taking the time to speak with me about this exciting book and hope those who choose to journey with Ing find it both exciting and worth telling another about. For more information about Ing and all my other works you can visit my website at www.plmii.com or www.ingtheviking.com.

Leslie Rice laying down the cinematic law on his web show Terror Obscura

Anne Rice, Jerry Rice, Condoleeza Rice … and now Leslie Rice joins those cultural titans as the most celebrated Rice since Uncle Ben’s.

Leslie Rice aka Fear Fan, is the creator, writer, director and star of the web series Terror Obscura in which he offers his wry and incisive look at various horror films from the obscure (duh) to the mainstream and from enjoyably bad Golden Turkeys to genuine classics. In my opinion out of the countless web shows that offer film criticism Terror Obscura is the most consistently watchable and Rice’s commentary provides genuine analysis, not just a synopsis of the movie being reviewed.

Balladeer’s Blog’s recommendations would include Leslie’s detailed analysis of the Nightmare on Elm Street series plus his hilarious takes on stinkers like Funhouse and Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla. There are plenty of others to choose from including his new feature, Fright Bytes, in which Leslie offers much briefer takes on all things horror.    

Growing up in St Louis, MO Mr Rice began flirting with horror films by viewing the movies his parents would let him rent from the video store at the end of the street. His youthful favorites included Godzilla, Rodan, the Universal horror films plus Old School science fiction like Forbidden Planet.

When he turned 16 Leslie took his earlier dabbling in horror films to the next level. Enjoying the new freedom offered by a driver’s license and the income from his first job, Fear Fan dove into the harder stuff like Nightmare on Elm Street, Predator, Candyman and Aliens.

The college years came along and Rice, still based in St Louis, put his enthusiasm to practical use by reviewing movies for the college newspaper and then for his internship. His move into online video reviews will be covered in the body of the interview.      

Leslie’s early career as a riverboat pilot along the Mississippi has been extensively documented and I think we’re all very familiar with his heroics after the sinking of PT 109 (damn show-off) so I began the interview on a more personal note: 

Balladeer’s Blog: How long have you been dating Lindsay Lohan?

Leslie Rice: Only since she’s hit rock bottom. We met when she drove her car through my living room, and we’ve been a thing ever since.

BB: What was “the senses-shattering origin” of your Terror Obscura webcasts?

LR: I’d just discovered a cool subculture that had sprung up on the internet – other people who loved bad and cheesy movies and who enjoyed giving them the most scathing reviews they could. It was good fun but there was one thing in particular that I looked forward to every year – James Rolfe’s Monster Madness. What made Monster Madness unique was that the reviews weren’t all negative and they weren’t just about weird, bad or obscure movies. I remember saying “It’s a shame someone doesn’t do something like this year ’round.” Well as soon as I said it, it hit me like a ton of bricks: I could be that guy.

BB: How did you get started?

LR: I’d taken a few classes in video production at college and HD camcorders were getting cheaper all the time. I got in touch with various other internet reviewers to find out what sort of equipment they used and by December 2010 I put out my first video. Since then I’ve been picked up by Agony Booth and a few other sites and had quite a good time doing it.

BB: So Terror Obscura has always been a webcast and not text reviews?

LR: It’s funny, but before I came up with the idea of doing my own video review show I had written several rough drafts for text recaps that I was going to submit to the Agony Booth. It’s kind of weird that they actually contacted ME after I put up my first few videos. Videos are a completely different animal than my old text reviews and I think they provide a wider range of opportunities for comedians.

BB: Any plans to expand into other formats?

LR: I must admit, it would be pretty awesome if I could do it on tv. The old tv horror hosts were always cool and it would be great to have a shot at being the next Joe Bob Briggs.

BB: Do you plan to pursue movie reviewing as a profession or simply as a sideline?

LR: Well, going pro has always been the dream, but at the moment it doesn’t seem like an option. Currently I’m working about 60 hours a week between two jobs and my reviews generate between $15 and $25 a month. Still, I’ve set some goals for myself and if I ever reach them I’ll probably give professional reviewing a shot.

BB: Any behind the scenes people at Terror Obscura you’d like to give a shoutout?

LR: For the most part it’s a one-man show but I’d still like to give a nod to Lewis Lovehaug aka Linkara for his valuable advice when I was just starting out. Also to Brad Jones aka the Cinema Snob for his encouragement and to the staff of the Agony Booth and the other websites my show appears on for inviting me and hosting my material. 

BB: Your analysis of horror icon Freddy Krueger and the Nightmare on Elm Street movies is well known. Any plans to review the television series Freddy’s Nightmares?

LR: For a while now I’ve had some ideas for some further Freddy- related episodes. One is for an episode I’m calling All Things Freddy where I’ll look at other aspects of the Freddy phenomenon. I’d probably include a look at Freddy’s Nightmares, some of the merchandise from years past and maybe even some of the books based around him. Also, after Freddy’s Dead I thought about doing an episode called Everything Wrong with Freddy’s Dead where I would simply take a deep breath then list everything stupid about that wretched movie. Unfortunately I’m pretty sure that would kill me so I’m putting it on the back burner for now.

BB: How about your quick takes on the following figures from horror cinema. First – Jason Voorhees -

LR: Interesting example of how screen villains can evolve over time. He wasn’t even in the first movie, he didn’t get his mask until the third and it wasn’t until the sixth film that he became the unstoppable Frankensteinian superzombie that we all know and love. When he’s done right he’s awesome but in the hands of someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing … well, just take a look at Jason Goes To Hell. or better yet, don’t.

BB: – Michael Myers - 

LR: Horror fans owe John Carpenter a debt of gratitude for this one, and the first two movies are great. That said the sequels step onto shakey ground in Part 4 and start a steady downhill march after that. H20 is acceptable, but still rather tame even when you compare it to other fare that was made around the same time. Probably the low point is the infamous Snoop Dogg line “Trick or Treat, motherfucker!” If you watch that line closely you can detect a slight pause after “trick or treat” and you can actually see Mr Dogg cringing at what he’s about to say next. As for the Rob Zombie remake … well … not as terrible as some people seem to think, but the sequel is EXACTLY as bad as people say and worse. 

BB: – Pinhead –

LR: Ah, a great character with a great story behind him. I assume you are talking about the Hellraiser Pinhead and not the Puppet Master one, right? Although a mashup of the two would be infinitely entertaining. (Photoshop of Doug Bradley’s head on the puppet’s body. Audio – a high-pitched helium voice: “Your suffering will be legendary even in Hell!”) Anyway, DB is great in all the films he appears in but unfortunately not all the films he appears in are great films. At least he had the smarts to duck out of the last one. 

BB: – The Tall Man from the Phantasm series –

LR: Now you’re talking! Phantasm was an absolute joy for me to find! A year or so after Halloween (when I was 16) I invited some friends over for the night and we rented the first film in the series. Two hours later we returned to rent the second movie. Two hours later we returned to get the third and fourth. I think Phantasm is a great series and Angus Scrimm was one of the things that made it memorable. Don Coscarelli says that he’s content to leave it where it lays but if John Dies at the End is a success, then who knows what the future may hold.

BB: – Chucky –

LR: The first three films are worth it and its all mainly due to the excellent voice talent of Brad Dourif. The man knows how to go from zero to crazy in .6 seconds. Anyway, even with him I’d avoid Bride and Seed of Chucky.

BB: – Herbert West from the Re-Animator films -

LR: Jeffrey Combs was a great pick and his collaborations with Stuart Gordon are always worth a watch. Lovecraft himself probably would be mortified by what they turned one of his least favorite stories into, but as for me, I’m still drooling over the prospect of House of Re-Animator.

BB: – Ghostface –

LR: An interesting character if only for the fact that no single person has BEEN Ghostface for more than a single movie. I love the Scream films and I think it sort of plays into the whole “meta” aspect of the franchise that every character after Billy and Stu in the series is essentially doing a “Ghostface impression”. They aren’t the original, but they’re acting like him based on what they’ve seen in the Stab films based off Billy and Stu’s murders. 

BB: – Jigsaw from the Saw films -

LR: Pretty cool but after the first two things just sort of ran out of steam. I like that John Kramer is essentially trying to “help” people to live better lives and the only bright spots in the worst Saw sequels are the scenes where he discusses his philosophy. It’s interesting to have a villain motivated by a personal philosophy rather than supernatural revenge.

BB: – Coffin Joe –

LR: Haven’t seen any of his films, but I’ve heard great things and whenever I can get hold of a set I’ll be sure to give them a shot.

BB: – Paul Naschy –

LR: Always fun, even though I tend to concentrate on U.S. and U.K. stuff.

BB: – the Ramsay Brothers –

LR: On my “to-do” list.

BB: – Jorg Buttgereit –

LR: I saw some of Nekromantik at a party once and it didn’t do too much for me. If I want arthouse I’ll probably stick with the beautiful work Argento has done.

BB: – Angela from the Sleepaway Camp films –

LR: The first film was great and the twist was absolutely unforgettable. On top of that the special effects were pretty damn good. As for the sequels, the less said the better.     

BB: Do you consider the infamous Italian cannibal movies of the 70′s and 80′s to be a legitimate subgenre of horror?

LR: I absolutely do. Whenever a number of films echo each other in theme, content or visual style I feel that it can be grouped into a legitimate subgenre. Take a look at the recent Found Footage subgenre or the Torture Porn subgenre. Now sometimes these can overlap, such as how The Last Exorcism is both a Found Footage movie and an Exorcism movie.

BB: Do you view the Human Centipede films as horror or torture porn or something else?

LR: Well that’s a bit of an interesting question and for the answer I suppose we have to look to two factors: What the film was intended to do and how the film was received by audiences. Now take a look at Salo, a film that is every bit as grotesque and horrifying as The Human Centipede. According to the man who made the movie (Salo) was meant to be a statement about how dehumanizing the fascist government of Spain was. If you look at it from a purely technical standpoint the film appears to have been shot in a way that was meant to be artistic. From this we can assume that it was not INTENDED to be a horror movie. However, audiences have reacted to it with horror, so does that mean it IS horror? Personally I think not.

BB: Could you elaborate on that point? 

LR: The filmmaker wanted to horrify people, but he wanted to fill them with disgust for the type of people who would create a situation like the one in the film. They did react with horror but that horror was directed at the film itself rather than the intended target. Therefore I would classify it as an arthouse movie, albeit one that failed to deliver its intended message. Now, by those same criteria if you were to take a look at The Human Centipede what was its orginal intention? To horrify the audience by forcing them to ask what it would be like if they were in the same situation. Did the audience react with horror? Yes. Therefore The Human Centipede is unambiguously a horror film and as such it is subject to the same classifications as other horror movies. In this, the only category it falls into is Torture Porn, so yeah, it’s a Torture Porn horror movie. 

BB: I’m making you the official dictator of horror cinema for one day – what horror film trend would you like to see go away forever?

LR: Nothing really. Yeah, jump scares are annoying, but when you get someone who actually knows how to do them properly they can be great. That said, long, lingering shots focusing on human suffering for no reason are something I particularly hate. Do I mind watching something grotesque happen to someone? Not really. But it makes me uncomfortable when the camera seems to LEER at the damage, as if the filmmaker was really getting something out of watching someone in pain. Again, it could be effective if used in the right circumstances but mainly it’s used by either sick fucks who enjoy seeing people hurt or by directors who assume that the audience are sick fucks who just like to see human suffering. 

BB: Do you have a favorite silent horror film and if so how influential do you think it was?

LR: I’m going to go for the easy answer here and say Nosferatu. There are plenty of other great silent horror films out there but Nosferatu introduced at least one major part of major vampire lore – the sun kills vampires – and has inspired a number of other cinematic bloodsuckers over the years. 

BB: Do you have a favorite era of cinematic horror?

LR: The 80′s for sure. These days, so many people are so desperate to make REALISTIC horror movies or GRITTY horror movies. It seems like most people have forgotten how to make FUN horror movies. Back then, you had so many films that are just a blast to watch. Were there guts and gore? Sure, but there was also a sort of “hey kids, watch this” wink to it. I’m not saying that particular brand of horror is dead, mind you. Just take a look at this last year’s Cabin in the Woods.

BB: Who were your biggest horror influences growing up?

LR: Well, my Big Three are probably the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, Friday the 13th and Phantasm. I know it seems a little mainstream, but we all start somewhere, right? 

BB: Were you an EC Comics guy?

LR: To the core! I of course didn’t grow up during the period when they were first really popular but I WAS exposed to them through the Tales From The Crypt series that was on during my youth. They actually reprinted some of the old stories in text format and sold them as kid’s books around that time and I remember owning two or three of them. 

BB: Which do you find more overdone right now – vampires or zombies?

LR: Vampires, but mainly because the zombie movies continue to be … well … interesting. I mean, zombies get cool stuff like Zombieland and the upcoming Warm Bodies, but vampires? Mainly it seems like the vampire market is pandering to teen girls at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, though, I would love to see some really great vampire films but for that to happen people need to be willing to play with the genre a little bit more.

BB: If there was an official Terror Obscura film festival being held what would be the 6 must-have quality films and the 6 must-have Golden Turkeys?

LR: Jeez … only 6 of each? Well … 1. Alien for sci-fi  2. Hellraiser for the artistic flair  3. A Nightmare on Elm Street for surreal horror  4. Friday the 13th Part VI for straight-up slasher goodness  5. Cube for an example of how to do a damn good movie on a shoestring budget  6. The Fly for Cronenberg, need I say more?  By Golden Turkeys I assume you mean films that are awful but still somehow compellingly watchable.  1. House of the Dead for Uwe Boll  2. Jason Goes to Hell for an example of how people can completely miss the point of an entire franchise  3. Silent Night, Deadly Night II for ACTING!!!  4. Troll 2 … Just, Troll 2. That’s all I have to say.  5. Carnosaur 2 – Play the drinking game. One drink for every plot point stolen from Aliens. Seriously, don’t play it or you’ll die from alcohol poisoning.  6. The Piranha remake – underwater skank ballet.             

BB: Are you familiar with the horror comic Hack/Slash in which the heroine is an archetypal Last Girl who hunts down and kills slashers? 

LR: I haven’t read it yet, but I was lucky enough to be introduced to it this past Halloween. Linkara mentioned it in a special he was doing at the time and I’m hoping to get my hands on a trade paperback soon.

BB: For readers who may be curious is there a Mrs Fear Fan?

LR: Sadly, no, but not for lack of trying. I did have one attractive female fan offer to buy me a drink if I’m ever in New York and I’m always open to meeting new people, so hey, who knows what the future may bring.

BB: Care to tease Terror Obscura fans with a taste of what 2013 has in store?

LR: Well, I’ll be starting Season 2 soon and I’ll be kicking it off with a review of Uwe Boll’s House of the Dead. After that I’ll be reviewing the entire Friday the 13th series, so in all it’s going to be a busy year.

That wraps it up! Be sure to check out Leslie Rice’s entertaining web series Terror Obscura! The episodes are free but if you mention Balladeer’s Blog you’ll get an additional 10% off!  

TO WATCH TERROR OBSCURA EPISODES CLICK HERE: http://www.agonybooth.com/video_shows/Terror_Obscura/

AND FOR BALLADEER’S BLOG’S EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH MOVIE HOST RANDY CLOWER CLICK HERE:  http://glitternight.com/2011/12/22/randy-clower-balladeers-blog-interviews-a-movie-host-legend/

FOR MORE MOVIE HOST ARTICLES CLICK HERE:  http://glitternight.com/category/movie-hosts/

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.      

Lisa Lipps, better known as Le Lei to her friends and followers, has spent her life celebrating the Female Divine. Even before she embarked on her newer and more spiritual path she made her name as an object of worship around the world, being celebrated for her intoxicating beauty and for her embodiment of pagan love goddesses from the past.

After a career as an icon of erotic performance art Lisa/ Le Lei is now sharing her spiritual gifts with the world. She lectures about Gnosticism and other mystical philosophies that lead to enlightenment. Le Lei has a very versatile approach and does not limit herself or those who seek her help to just one discipline.

This mystic beauty offers skype consultations for those who cannot meet with her in person. For details on contacting her for consultations, spiritual guidance or her healing skills read on.

Balladeer’s Blog: You’ve made it clear that in your belief system the goddess is worshipped under the name Azna. Could you clarify that name?

Le Lei: In the Gnostic teachings Azna was the feminine name given. She is the part of god that is more hands on with creation and can manifest easier.  

BB: As a “chicken or the egg” question do you feel the demonization of human sexuality led to discarding goddess worship or do you feel that when the emerging patriarchal societies turned their back on goddesses that that led to the demonization of human sexuality?

LL: Sexuality had nothing to do with discarding of the goddesses, that was done by man. Constantine to be exact in 345 AD. Actually spirituality and sexuality go together because of the connection made during the act of giving oneself to another. Men have been taught over centuries that women are beneath them but that’s not true. We are the chalice, the life-givers to the world. 

We clean out every 33 days. A complete detox if you will, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

BB: What role do you feel women should play in the spiritual life of men?

LL: We take in more and feel deeper than men do and there’s a reason for that. We are built to cleanse men on many levels. 

BB: In addition to Azna who are some of your other favorite embodiments of the Female Divine?

LL: I look back to the Egyptian times. With Isis women were not an afterthought in the divine plan.

BB: Are you fond of one of the alternate esoteric interpretations of INRI: “Isis Naturae Regina Ineffabilis”?

LL: “Isis, Ineffable Queen of Nature.” Women are mothers to all. I happen to take care of all life big and small. Now let me ask you a question. Do you have an alternate esoteric interpretation that you favor? 

BB: I favor “Ingenio Numen Resplendent Iacchi”, but I think “Igni Naturae Renovateur Integra” has more of a real-world application … Aside from Gnosticism what are some of your favorite approaches to the spiritual realm? 

LL: I’m also a Mystic and a Sikh.

BB: Which metaphysical entities would you say are the closest equivalents of Azna?

LL: The Holy Mother Mary, Isis … Mother Nature, another giver of life.

BB: Do you feel goddess worship should exclude any male entities or are there male figures you consider useful additions to goddess worship?

LL: I love Father God, for all of us from the light should. Equally.

BB: How would you summarize the gifts you have to offer people who seek out your guidance?

LL: I have so many gifts that keep growing and becoming stronger with age and my method of living. My gifts were given by the Divine as a whole. Not just from the Mother but from the Father as well.  

BB: Which gift would you consider the greatest?

LL: The best of my many gifts are my healing hands. I love the gift of channeling other celestial entities to give messages to those who need them. I can read into a person’s current life chart and help them by channeling. However by using my gifts I become depleted of energy and get symptoms of sickness at the end of the day.

BB: What spiritual activity do you consider the most draining?

LL: Depending how badly the person’s energy field is clouded it takes a lot for me to clear it out. Then I have to get rid of it as well. That can take time. That’s why I choose to stay in places where I know where to go to be cleansed.

BB: Which areas work best for you?

LL: Places with higher vibrations that are natural to our planet.

BB: What would you say is the main obstacle to people discovering their spiritual side?

LL: People have numbed themselves to being able to open up to the thin veil between our world and the one overlaying us. Everyone has the gift. It’s a matter of taking the time to slow down and use their inner magic to get in touch with it.

BB: How would you put Gnosticism in perspective for those unfamiliar with it?

LL: Gnostsicism was the belief system of many Magi before and during the time of Christ. His faith was based on these gentle beliefs as well, proving that there are kinder ways to live and love. Not this hypocritical religion being negatively taught today, where people talk the talk but can’t walk it for a single day.

Living your beliefs seems so hard to most everyone but I do it with great honor and reward every day. No more lying to yourself or others is the first step. The start of breaking the habits we were taught as children, changing everything about who one is and starting over.

It refreshes the soul and unclogs the mind. Opens you up to receive divine messages, dreams and to astral travel while sleeping. All of those benefit us. Everyone of us is a gift to each other. Our paths cross for a reason: some for greatness, others to teach us how not to be taken advantage of.                           

BB: Any other words for readers pondering their spiritual course in life?

LL: I also want you to know that all paths to the divine are the right choice. Everyone gets there on their own terms and in their own time. My way is not the only way. Each path in life takes us where we need to be. We are all here to learn and elevate our souls.

Some have had many lifetimes, all with different themes, all knowledge for the divine and the soul. We will all judge ourselves by the life blueprint we created before coming into this world. This is something we all do with help from those on the other side.

BB: How may people seek out your assistance?

LL: I’m currently working on my site for live cam readings. It will be a couple of weeks before it’s up and running: http://www.trumystic.com .  For now people can just use my twitter account twitter@trumystic . I will be doing online lectures as well once I get it set up. Being spiritual is so different from dogmatic religion.         

BB: Special thanks to Le Lei and good luck with her new site! 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.  

With some stars one name says it all: Cher … Madonna … Minka. This resoundingly beautiful lady has a reputation as THE most exquisite sight in her home of Las Vegas, and that’s no minor accomplishment. Minka is one of the legends of erotic performance art and has appeared on virtually every major talk show in several countries.

This divine lady dances with the same athletic grace she showed as a tennis player in South Korea years ago and is known far and wide for being as charming and affable as she is gorgeous. Recently Minka granted this interview to Balladeer’s Blog. And men and women who can’t get enough of this 21st Century Love Goddess read on for ways of getting your own Minka merchandise!  

Balladeer’s Blog: So, how many languages do you speak?

Minka: I speak two languages, Korean and English.

BB: Did you enjoy Balladeer’s Blog’s article on Korean gods and goddesses?

M: Yes I did!

“Oh, hi.”

BB: Do you have a favorite deity from your home country’s ancient past?

M: No. No one favorite.

BB: I can picture you playing the goddess Yuhwa in a movie.

M: Thank you! You’re sweet!  

BB: What is the one thing that people are most surprised about with you?

M: That I am a normal person outside of the adult business.

BB: What is your greatest non-work passion?

M: PLAYING TENNIS!!

BB: It’s great to see that is still a big part of your life! Do you have a favorite tennis player?

M: Yes – Serena Williams.

BB: So what’s it like being Las Vegas Royalty?

M: Oh, I’m not royalty. 

BB: You’re so sweet and modest! Any chance of a Minka reality show coming our way?

M: (laughs) No!

BB: Who is your favorite author?

M: I don’t have one in particular.

BB: Is there a down side to being desired by so many men and women?

M: No down side!

BB: Let’s delve into some fantasy territory. If you met your eighteen-year- old self is there anything you would like to say to her?

M: I love my big tits! 

BB: Let’s hope that’s a lesson she’d take to heart! Is there any period of history besides this one in which you would have preferred to live?

M: No.

BB: If you were a superheroine what would your super power be?

M: Suffocating men with my big tits!

BB: Wow! There’d be no Kryptonite to stop THAT super power. If you were a James Bond villainess what sexy name would you go by?

M: Big Tits Minka!

BB: Makes Pussy Galore sound pretty wimpy, that’s for sure! If Superman and Wonder Woman were real which one would you rather do a sex scene with?

M: Superman.

BB: If Indiana Jones and Lara Croft were real which one would you rather do a sex scene with?

M: Lara Croft!

BB: Now comes the Main Event! If you and your good friend Kayla Kleevage fought over a potential lover who would walk away with the prize?

M: (laughs) I would win!  

BB: Everyone loves a confident woman! Are there any big bust models you wish you had done a love scene with but didn’t get the chance?

M: Yes. SaRenna Lee.

BB: In closing what advice would you give to people who have a negative attitude toward human sexuality?

M: That they are making a big mistake!

BB: Thank you for your time, Minka! You are a terrific lady!

FOR ALL THE MINKA MERCHANDISE YOU CAN LAY YOUR HANDS ON VISIT MINKAXXX.COM HERE:  http://minkaxxx.com/  

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

When it comes to the supermodel known as Metal phrases like “sheer feminine perfection” and “most beautiful  woman alive” tend to get thrown around. This enigmatic and lovely lady is pretty much the Greta Garbo of modern-day goddesses and is also a shrewd businesswoman, wisely rationing her public appearances to prevent overexposure.

Metal is the Jesse James Bourbon Girl, sometimes appears on the Reality Check program and as Mistress Metal occassionally forays into modeling for the world of erotic Power Exchange. Recently this talented, witty and sexy paragon of female beauty granted an interview to Balladeer’s Blog.   

Balladeer’s Blog: How long ago did you realize you wanted to be the world’s premier heavy metal/horror/ biker/femdom goddess?

Metal: I don’t consider myself a goddess of ANY kind but THANK YOU for the sweet compliment and for thinking of me along those lines … very flattering! All of those genres you’re referring to are genres I’m just heavily involved with. They’re just ME is all. I am a rocker chick/Heavy Metal girl. Eighties Metal/Rock is my favorite genre of music and horror is my favorite genre of movie. I’m not  really involved in the biker world besides the fact I just go to Sturgis (for the biker rally) every year.  

BB: In your modeling career are there any products that you flatly will not model for?

M: I will NOT model for anything straight-up graphic or pornographic. Topless or nude done tastefully, glamorous, artistic and PAID I will do. But I will not do porn of any kind. I’m not against porn nor anyone who does it but it’s just not my thing and not how I want to be seen/ portrayed.

BB: I understand you also rent out your amazing chest space for T-shirts advertising various products, too. Is that still available?

M: Renting out the chest as a billboard? (Laughs) YES! Feel free to send tank tops etc for pics. And feel free to hire my chest as a billboard like for airbrushing a logo on, etc. Hire me for an event to walk around with the logo airbrushed on, take pictures or such.

BB: If artists seek you out for comic book work what sort of characters do you prefer to portray?

M: As far as comic books go I’m already featured once in awhile in Lost Anarchy, a friend’s comic book in which I appear as myself. But mainly I would want to be portrayed in a flattering light. And something cool-looking along the lines of that Heavy Metal kind of look.

BB: Do you plan to appear in any r-rated erotic videos?

M: Video is another no-go for me. I DON’T do video.

BB: What exactly is your relationship with the cable show Reality Check TV?

M: I’m not an employee of the show. They are all personal friends of mine. They have had that tv show going on cable for years and years – long before I knew them. We see each other when they come to Las Vegas for the AVN shows or to Los Angeles for NAMM. When we hang out they film the events and places we go together and I’m part of those episodes, but not a full-time component of their show.

BB: Balladeer’s Blog often covers Horror Hostesses of the past and present. Do you have a favorite Horror Hostess?

M: Elvira is probably the hostess I’d go with.   

BB: Have you ever considered working as a Horror Hostess yourself?

M: I would LOVE to be a Horror Hostess or play some bit parts in a horror movie. Please go to my website – www.36kmetal.com  – on there you will see the MANY areas I’m available for work.

BB: If you were a James Bond villainess what sexy name would you go by?

M: Well I honestly don’t consider myself sexy so that’s a hard one for me to come up with. Hard to give myself a sexy name when that’s not how I see myself. Maybe you can come up with something? All I know is I wouldn’t want something campy or stupid or gimmicky or with vulgar body parts in it. That’s not my thing for sure. No words such as mountains, melons, mounds … you see where I’m going with that. It would need to be something not gimmicky, not vulgar and something that went more with a Heavy Metal type edge to it.  

BB: Well, if I’m coming up with a name for you it would be something like Doctor Aphrodite Steele. Any chance of a Metal reality show coming our way?

M: I would love to have a reality show. I always wanted my own version of Daisy of Love! What a dream to have my own group of long-haired rocker boys and I get to have my pick! I already know it would be a hit and get some damn good ratings. Or my own version – with friends – of The Bad Girls Club. But not the bitchy version like them, more like the rowdy, rocker girl version. All the fun escapades of Vegas and going to rock shows. Another show where I’d kill it in the ratings!

BB: If you could have a man tied up and left waiting for you in a room what are some of the nasty and not so nasty things you would like to do to him?

M: HMMMMMMMM! I am VERY picky on men. And ONLY desire long-haired men as far as sexually. Not that I can’t be friends or fun with ANY guy, but with me it has to be my specific type of guy or it’s a no-go. Now tie up David Lee Roth in a corner and the list is endless on what I’d love to do!

BB: What was the motivating factor behind the breast work you had done?

M: I didn’t get the boobs done to be rebellious, to make money, to get a man or to think I’m sexy. None of that. I am just a person who kinda does their own thing as I respect others who are just themselves and are not conformists or cookie-cutter type people. I just had a certain look in mind – Lolo Ferrari – and had the guts to just go for it is mainly all it is.

BB: What was your least favorite aspect of the breast work you had done?

M: Getting the IV! I hate needles, especially one that’s gonna stay stuck in my arm. Also taking my nose ring out and that groggy feeling of trying to wake up from anesthesia. And the absolute worst part of any surgery is the cost. The hit on the bank account is by far the absolute worst part!

BB: Does it ever get old having people tell you how beautiful you are?

M: It does NOT get old because that rarely happens. What gets old is being bashed and hated for my boobs and hated solely because of that. It also gets old being asked if my boobs are fake or real. First off, does it really matter? Secondly you can see from the moon they are fake! They are size K for god sakes. If they were natural K’s I’d need a wheelbarrow to carry them around. It also drives me crazy when people ask me how I sleep or if my back hurts. Again, WHY would it matter to anyone else? I highly doubt anyone out there is losing sleep at night wondering how I can sleep or if my back hurts.

What people don’t think about or realize is NO my back doesn’t hurt. Why? Because, if people knew their boob facts they would know that fake boobs aren’t heavy. They don’t hang or sag so that’s why I don’t have back problems. Natural ones at a size D will cause shoulder and back problems. Why? Because they are heavy sacks of skin just hanging, sagging and drooping on the body. THAT is what causes back problems, not what I have!

BB: If a man is trying to get in good with you what is the last thing he should do?

M: Don’t ask me if they are real, don’t talk to my boobs and act like I’m not even there and don’t ask if he can touch them! If he says or does something rude, stupid or inconsiderate right off the bat I won’t even respond or give him the time of day after that. People, THINK for one second before you open your mouth. If you wouldn’t say it or ask it to another girl or if it would be offensive if you heard it said/asked to your mother/wife/ girlfriend/sister then DON’T say it to me!

BB: Is there any down side to being desired by so many men and women?

M: Desired? Hardly … it’s more like hated! Not many men out there like my look. They all love boobs but once boobs are fake they only like up to a D or DD then they hate them, so there are very few men who like my look. The ones that do, they surely do like it but it’s a very small number. Women? We all know many women are catty, petty and judgemental. Even small fake boobs will bring out the hatred in other girls. The bigger the boobs get, the more you’re hated. Then put them at the size I have! I am hated by more than desired or loved, that’s for sure! Most women hate me, just on sight. They don’t look beyond the boobs and see me as any kind of person … just hated instantly! So I’m far from desired in any way, especially by women.  

BB: Are there days when you wish you could just leave your breasts at home so you could walk around with fewer people making a fuss?

M: YES! There are many days when I wish I could go somewhere without people taking sneaky pics of me. Or walk through a parking lot without having some stupid stranger stop their car to ask me if they are real or what size they are. Have some damn courtesy will you, people? What girl wants to be bothered by a stranger? NONE! What girl wants a random stranger walking up and talking about her boobs? NONE! But people seem to forget I’m still a person and give me no privacy or respect or courtesy when I’m out. I’m TIRED OF IT! 

BB: What advice would you give to people who have a negative attitude toward human sexuality?

M: I guess to some degree I myself am kind of prudish and very private. I know I look a certain way but as they say “don’t judge a book by its cover” – and that’s me. I keep bedroom activities OFF screen, OFF video and 1 on 1. Not into threesomes or any of that. I am pretty shy, quiet and reserved. What anyone else wants to do I have no problems with. Like I said I want people to be themselves and what makes someone else happy – go for it! To each their own.

BB: If you could say one thing to your 18 year old self what would it be?

M: Work out and stay thin. Get a college education right out of high school. Grab a good job and keep it -and save, save, save! Get boobs done at a DD and go no further.  

BB: What is your favorite period in world history?

M: The ’70′s! I always wished I was 21 in the late 70′s so I could have experienced some fun times at Studio 54. And I DID live through the 80′s and am so glad I was able to be of age during those times! BEST times of my life for sure and the best times EVER! The music, the scene, the shows, the clothing, best times for sure! And all that long hair! Yes, I’m a fanatic for long-haired men!

BB: I’m sure thousands of men will now be letting their hair grow down to the middle of their back to increase their chances of catching the eye of this incredible woman! Special thanks to the one and only Metal for this very memorable interview.

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Jeannetta Joy has the sweet and musical voice of an angel. The greatest testament I can offer to the overpowering allure of her voice is the fact that it actually manages to momentarily distract you from the transcendental beauty of her face and voluptuous form.

Adding to Jeannetta’s considerable charm is her sharp wit and engaging personality along with the regal but courteous way she deals with the effect her presence has on the metabolisms of so many men and women. A very savvy business woman, Jeannetta runs her own line of merchandise and lives an independent life in which she answers to nobody.

This entrepreneurial sex symbol recently granted Balladeer’s Blog an interview. For details about her new projects and how to go about laying your hands on some Jeannetta Joy merchandise read on:

BALLADEER’S BLOG: To start off how long have you been entertaining?

JEANNETTA JOY: Since 2005 or so.

BB: Do you recall how many stages you took to reach your present shape?

JJ: From my natural endowment I went to an E cup, then to an H cup, then to an NN cup.

BB: Do you ever get tired of the way so many men throw themselves at you?

JJ: Mostly not. Mostly I love it, but when men get the stupid idea that I’ll be a whore just because of my appearance I lose patience right away. I sometimes tell them it’s in their DREAMS that I would be an easy pushover, not real life.

BB: You handle yourself with such class and dignity I have a hard time picturing you losing your temper.

JJ: (laughs) Thanks but I can get very angry at men who misrepresent themselves or who try to impress me with big promises and can’t deliver. Insincere people will anger me every time!

BB: What’s the oddest thing that’s happened to you in your career?

JJ: When a man from Dubai contacted me to offer me $350,000 to have sex with him. (laughs) Of course I said NO! I can’t be bought or bribed and I’m very suspicious of the way Muslim countries treat women.

Jeannetta models a black bra

BB: You certainly don’t strike me as the type of person who is motivated by sheer profit.

JJ: That’s very sweet and perceptive of you! I’m not motivated by that. I didn’t become Jeannetta Joy for money, it’s about independence and about getting to enjoy and love my life!

BB: Were there early struggles when you were first trying to make a name for yourself?

JJ: Mostly because I refuse to do hardcore videos. Rather than grab at easy money like that I would handle the lean times by taking temp jobs, but it got harder and harder as many Human Resource people tried to look down their nose at my body type. Or else they would try to tell me I was “too sexy” for their organization.

BB: Are you too sexy for your shirt, too?

JJ: (giggles) Maybe! “Too sexy by far!”

Jeannetta in blue and white

BB: Did the refusal to do hardcore videos alienate some of the industry?

JJ: Oh yes! Even many of the big bust magazines now expect you to sign a contract to do hardcore for them before they’ll do a photo shoot with you. Luckily the internet helps get your name out there even without photo shoots in magazines that act like that. I can stay independent and do internet marketing and stay in business for just me. I don’t even do sex with my Skype chats. Years and years ago the huge-busted models were all the rage in the industry and you got treated like royalty but now too many places expect you to do hardcore, which I won’t.  

Jeanetta always looks great

BB: What’s next for you in your career?

JJ: I’m getting more and more into something that’s dear to my heart – dominating men. I think the Dominant Female world is the future for women with breasts my size. Having a Domme’s persona means you bring in men who know from the start that you won’t be about sex. And female domination doesn’t discriminate age-wise either. They don’t just look for women who are age 18-25. The older you get it can be a plus in FemDom. 

BB: What are the limits to what you’ll do in that arena?

JJ: No bloodplay or anything gross. Just nice, healthy domination of men.

Jeannetta wowing in white

BB: Have you selected a new name for that pursuit?

JJ: Yes. Goddess Seraphina, the Dark Angel of Fire.

BB: How did you arrive at that name?

JJ: I was toying around with types of angels. The Seraphim are about fire so that’s how I got the Dark Angel of Fire part and the name Seraphim led me to Seraphina.

BB: How would you describe your approach?

JJ: I enjoy developing chemistry with the men who submit to me. Even in Skype sessions I like to be able to watch my submissives carry out my orders because it provides more chemistry than just emails do.

Nurse Jeannetta

BB: Are you more surprised by men’s behavior around you or women’s?

JJ: Women definitely! Men act how you would expect but women are unpredictable. Some will point me out to the men they’re with even before the men see me. I guess they try to make me a joke by jumping in first with a disapproving remark. They get surprised sometimes by the way their men do double-takes at me though. Even women who want their picture taken with me sometimes try to pretend men don’t like big breasts. They try to tell me their boyfriend says “more than a mouthful’s a waste” but I don’t think they’d feel that way about a man’s cock (laughs)!

Jeannetta being joyful

BB: What is the main thing a man should never do if he wants to stay on your good side?

JJ: Lots of things but the main one is not to ask me my age. It makes me wonder if they are ageists.

BB: Any closing thoughts?

JJ: Just to mention that  in my travels I’ve learned people in Europe really do have a much healthier attitude toward sex than they do here. They appreciate how natural sexuality is and I often feel more comfortable there than in America. I sometimes toy with the idea of moving to Eastern Europe.

TO SEE MORE OF JEANNETTA JOY AND PURCHASE MERCHANDISE CLICK HERE: http://www.jeannettajoy.com/index2.php

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.    

Dutchess Von Stern

Forget Dyanne Thorne’s infamous character Ilsa, the real-life living legend of Power Exchange is the one and only Dutchess Von Stern. The Dutchess has been appearing in films that are celebrations of the Female Divine for decades. Her oeuvre is an erotic blend of horror and sexuality, a sort of pulp fiction world of aristocratic women who literally enslave all the men who cross their paths.

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Dutchess and male friend

BB: How would you summarize your approach to the Power Exchange lifestyle?

Dutchess and another male friend

(From this point on the Dutchess dismissed all my remaining questions as too mundane. She announced the interview was over and ended it with one last remark.)

Debra D’Andrea is a world-famous female bodybuider and has won numerous titles in professional competition. Not only that but she is an ingenious businesswoman and has been very successful at marketing herself not just to the FBB faithful but also to the Power Exchange community.

Debra combines her remarkable beauty with an irresistable charisma and keen intellect to maintain a public persona that is part woman warrior, part avante garde artist and part Domme. Recently Ms D’Andrea granted this interview to Balladeer’s Blog. For info on purchasing your own Debra D’Andrea merchandise read on:

BALLADEER’S BLOG: Would you like to start off by describing part of your training regimen?

DEBRA D’ANDREA – In general I workout six days a week, five lifting weights and one extra day of cardio.

BB: With workouts and maintaining your business how does that break down on a daily basis?

DD: My days are always different but I usually start out with my emails. Then about 10:30 or so I hit the gym for two hours, after that it depends if I have a session or if I have more computer work to do. Sometimes I have a late session between 5pm and 10pm. Plus I’m always working on generating new business and doing PR work.

BB: Regarding those sessions how is submission to Debra D’Andrea different from submission to any other Domme?

DD: My power, my charisma and my intensity are unforgettable. I make people addicted to every part of me.

Debra displaying her excellent back

BB: How long have you been active in the Power Exchange Community?

DD: I have been active at least twenty years.

BB: The oft-repeated refrain that Domination is not prostitution is still met with smiking skepticism in some quarters. How do you deal with that attitude when you encounter it?

DD: I enjoy what I do and feel that my job is a kind of therapy for a lot of people, so it should be considered helpful. I don’t see anything bad in it.

BB: What kind of fantasy sessions do you draw the line at?

DD: Any kind of session that may harm myself or someone else.

BB: Are you comfortable with pre-set scenarios or do you consider that to be “topping from the bottom”?

DD: I enjoy pre-set scenarios. However I prefer them to be where I play the dominant role. I really don’t like to be submissive unless it’s with that special someone.

BB: How do you handle the quandary of trying to inflict punishment on a sub who may actually relish the treatment that is meant to correct errant behavior?

DD: Well if any of my subs try to smile and show enjoyment I just punish where he has no choice but to back down and the smile disappears right away.

BB: Do you ever face violent rebellion from men who wind up being uncomfortable with their own scenario?

DD: No, because if they don’t cooperate we don’t do it.

BB: In real life do you prefer male or female lovers?

DD: I enjoy both males and females, but I prefer to have a male over a female.

BB: Which of your videos would you recommend for the definitive Debra D’Andrea DVD collection?

DD: The erotic wrestling videos for a start … the gym rat videos are great, as are the boytoy videos. And virtually ALL of the girl on girl videos are really great.

BB: Wow! Quite a provocative assortment of subjects! For fans of Debra who are interested they can seek her films out at: http://www.debradandrea.com/

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.    

Brianna Wright: Poet, swimmer and dramatic performer on Youtube

Brianna Wright is a very talented and lovely young lady from the U.K. She is an inventive writer and gifted poet who has a wonderful way of giving dramatic readings of her own work on her Youtube channel. This teen of many gifts is also an excellent swimmer and is home-schooled by her parents. Brianna’s family’s dog George the Whippet was a big hit here at Balladeer’s Blog a few years back so I was thrilled to get this interview with his intriguing owner. Read on for Brianna’s blog and Youtube information. 

BALLADEER’S BLOG: Who are your favorite poets?  

BRIANNA WRIGHT: Walt Whitman, Lewis Carroll but I also read a lot of contemporary poetry.

BB: Are you still interested in operas?

BW: Yes, I am still interested in operas although I am no longer aiming to have a career as an opera singer.

BB: Which operas stand out for you?

BW: The Barber of Seville by Rossini, The Marriage of Figaro by Mozart, Madame Butterfly by Puccini.

BB: No Thea Musgrave? Interesting. How do you go about composing your poetry?

BW: I find a theme that I feel inspired by and just write. Almost every draft I come up with needs a bit of editing, but writing things down as they come to my mind channels my creativity.

BB: Do you feel that your Youtube performances of your poems are work or is the performance aspect even more fun than the writing?

BW: I enjoy both writing and performing my poems and I don’t regard either of these activities as work.

BB: To get gratuitously weird for a moment if you were a superheroine what would your name be?

BW: If I were a superheroine, my name would be Flash, because I would move like a flash of lightning!

BB: If you were a Wild West gunslinger what would your nickname be?

BW: If I were a Wild West gunslinger my nickname would be Water Lily (not very Wild West!).

BB: Well, it could be a name given you by your Native American friends. Do you plan to dabble in dramatic poetry like T.S. Eliot’s Murder in the Cathedral or ancient Greek tragedies or other verse forms for the stage?

BW: I am thinking of trying my hand at other types of poetry for the stage over the next few years, as my studies of literature progress.

BB: Have you ever considered the podcast format for your poetry?

BW: Not really, but I think that it’s a great idea, thanks for the suggestion.

BB: You’re welcome. Do you consider Epic Poetry to be a truly dead artform?

BW: No, I have only read fragments of Epic Poetry so far, but I found them interesting and captivating. Therefore I think that there is a place for Epic Poetry in the world.

BB: Your dog George the Whippet has plenty of fans around the world. Could you give his adoring public an update on his activities?

BW: George is five years old now, and has matured into a gorgeous boy. He is my best friend and is still at the centre of our family life. He still likes his fluffy comfort and is sleeping in his fleecy bed, near the radiator next to my desk right now. We love sharing music together and he listens to me reading my creations out loud.

BB: What do you hope the title of your biography might be if it is written 40 years from now?

BW: Let me explain. Apart from writing, I am also very involved in swimming and am currently a member of the competitive squads in my city, Coventry. Therefore, I would one day like to become famous either for my swimming, or my writing (although being famous for both would be great!). The title of my biography would reflect my achievements in these areas. It would probably be called something like: Water and Words.

BB: Nice. When I was 12 years old I tried writing a poetic adaptation of A Christmas Carol. Do you have any works that you’ve started but decided to abandon?

BW: Of course, I think that all writers have works that they decide to abandon, at least for a while. I started a story called Billy Barnes about a teenager who had magical powers and whisked me away to a different land where the living were the dead, and the dead were the living. I didn’t finish it, although I would like to re-visit it in the near future.

BB: This being Balladeer’s Blog I have to ask: What is the worst movie you’ve ever seen?

BW: I don’t watch many movies, but the worst one that I’ve seen is probably Coraline. I don’t know if it’s meant to be a horror film, but I hated it and couldn’t sleep for a month afterwards. The mention of buttons made my skin crawl!

BB: That’s an odd coincidence because the mention of the name of the hack comedian Red Buttons makes my skin crawl. What kind of story would Gentleman George write about you and your family?

BW: I’d like to think that he’d write a happy story about love, walks, hugs, play and lots of food!

BB: And they say “it’s a dog’s life”. Do you have a favorite mythological pantheon? Or any other tidbits of personal information you’d like to share?

BW: At the moment, my absolute favourite mythological pantheon is the Greek one but I’m planning to explore the mythology of other cultures as well. As for other info: I have been home schooled for the past year, which has allowed me to pursue my interests in greater depth. Therefore, I started my own blog and, more recently, my own YouTube channel on which I can share my literary creations with a wider audience. 

*********

Thank you very much to Brianna, a true Renaissance Woman that I’m sure the world will be hearing a lot from! If you’re looking for Ms Wright (rimshot) you can follow her blog at: 

http://thehomeschoolchild.wordpress.com/

Or her Youtube channel at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-tjXKW_TtQ 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.      

DETAILS:

CLICK HERE 

Hello and thank you to readers who offered hopeful messages regarding the recent hospitalization of a loved one. As you would imagine that’s why the slowdown in fresh blog posts in the past few days. Things are going well so I should be back up to speed soon. 

 Balladeer’s Blog recently got to interview Philip Lee McCall II, best-selling author, reviewer, publisher and imaginist about his latest book, Ing The Viking. McCall’s previous works include The Imaginist and Poisonous Prose: A Limited Collection of Dark Rhymes (2  volumes). 

All of those books are available at Amazon.com, plus McCall has The Imaginist II coming out in just over two months. The time seemed right to try to ride Mr McCall’s coattails to some more blog hits for myself (I’m kidding!) so I sent my private jet to pick him up and fly him to my spacious villa overlooking Japan’s Inland Sea. 

We passed the time trying to spot one of the thousand dragons of the Shinto god Kotohira swimming in the waters below while “PLMII” as he’s called, graciously answered my interview questions. 

Balladeer’s Blog: For the uninitiated could you provide an overview of Ing the Viking’s setting and raison d’etre? 

PLMII: Ing the Viking is an anthology which collects the stories of a fabled Viking’s adventures. I worked with a group of fantasy artists to render art for each tale. I was honored to have the great Larry Elmore not only excited about the project but also provide two images for the book.  This book was definitely a labor of love and homage to both Norse mythology and the Pulp fiction era. There are no heroes that I am aware of like Conan, Beowulf or John Carter that you can pick up and read from new authors. So I saw a void and created Ing to fill that, and in the process sought to bring a new audience and life to Norse mythology. Most only know Norse myth through the Thor comic by Marvel which is great but pales in comparison to the mythos that was used to create it. 

BB: What has the initial response to Ing been like? 

PLMII: The response has been very positive and has allowed my work to crossover to many types of readers because most people have heard of the Vikings and Thor. The funny thing is most people who have read Ing are already wanting a movie and picking what actor should play (him). I think that is very cool. It means to me that Ing is a character that’s both believable and memorable. 

BB: Do you think the success of books like Ing the Viking will help revive interest in the pulp magazine stories of the past? 

PLMII: That was the overall intention of creating Ing and producing it in this format. Mythology itself is a series of stories told about the epic adventures of both gods and men. I would be lying if I did not point out that Ing is heavily influenced by Conan the Barbarian and Beowulf.  I think that most readers today are looking for something that can be both quick and fulfilling. That was the beauty of pulp fiction from days past. I would be thrilled if my writing on Ing sends readers back to rediscover the works of CL Moore, Robert E Howard and many of the other greats from the pulp fiction era. 

BB: Who is your favorite neglected Norse deity? 

CLMII: I would have to say Heimdall. He is often written off as just a lone watchmen at the Bifrost Bridge. He is much more than that. This god has gold teeth and was born of nine mothers. Talk about original! As a writer I think he is just a wellspring of stories. Who else would know all the comings and goings of Asgard? 

BB: What did you think of last year’s Thor movie?

PLMII: I loved it. I know it is Marvel’s rendition of Norse mythology so going in I took that stance toward the movie. It is not often Norse mythology is done with such flair and care. Most of the Norse myth movies are horrible and often fal lway short of the mythos itself. I think any movie that gets the public enthused about Norse mythology and is done well, is good by me. 

BB: Are you a fan of the New Zealand progam The Almighty Johnsons? ( This program deals with the Norse gods and goddesses incarnating as young people ) 

CLMII: I probably soon will be. Even though I am not familiar with this series the themes in it are nothing new. Neil Gaiman and many others have crossed the whole gods in human flesh bridge before. What should make this series good is the fact that Norse mythology more than any other was filled with the adventures of the gods in human form travelling among us. I am not surprised that a writer picked up on that and spun a show out of it. I think if any gods could pull off living among mortals it would be the Norse gods. 

BB: Aside from Norse what are your other favorite mythological pantheons? 

PLMII: Like many I also enjoy the Graeco Roman gods though I have recently started getting into Asian mythos which is really cool. 

BB: Do you think Norse myths will ever overtake Graeco Roman myths in pop culture? 

PLMII: To be quite honest … no. I think the reason for this is quite simple. The Graeco Roman period is often is often touted as the Golden Age of mythology and is often romanticized and taught to many around the world. Norse mythology is often touted as a pagan religion that was squashed out by the rise of Christianity. I think the Norse sagas have great romance, intrigue and tales of valor that are far superior to the self-indulging tales about the gods of the Graeco Roman myths. However, Norse sagas do not end well and often are filled with death and loss, things that most do not wish to hear about. If anything Norse myth beats closer to the mortal vein than Graeco Roman myths. 

BB: To end on a light note, if Ing and Conan fell for the same woman, who would win the romantic rivalry? 

PLMII: Even though I am the creator of Ing I would have to give it to Conan. Ing is a heroic figure consumed with protecting the Viking people. While he would not turn from the passions of a beautiful woman I do not think a mortal could ever win his heart fully. You will have to read Ing the Viking to understand that previous comment. Conan is a much more earthly being who is driven by his desires and could one day be consumed by a woman who proves to be his mortal match, though he may lust after many in the search for this woman. In closing I want to tell the fans of Balladeer’s Blog as well as Norse mythology and fantasy fans in general, that Ing the Viking is worth the read and will not disappoint. I have already begun working on Ing the Viking, Volume II, which includes the entire original artist team plus several new illustrators as well. So far the stories are looking great and should make Ing II double the size of its predecessor.

I want to thank Balladeer for taking the time to speak with me about this exciting book and hope those who choose to journey with Ing find it both exciting and worth telling another about. For more information about Ing and all my other works you can visit my website at www.plmii.com or www.ingtheviking.com.